The meeting with the surgeon Dr. Kai Engstad went well in
that he saw no reason not to recommend surgery – his remarks are above. This
means that a cancer-free future is still possible.
Engstad warned the complexity of the operation is higher
than before because the tumor is in a region that was recently operated on.
Scar tissue, flesh reconstituting after disruption, can make for tricky going.
Also, the difficulty of the procedure may be increased depending on what
surfaces the tumor has adhered to. There is no way to know these finer points
without opening me up.
Although Dr. Shao has said that this type of cancer,
synovial sarcoma, can not be treated with radiation, I will consult with a
radiation oncologist. This is to understand thoroughly what radiation can do in
this case. If there is no significant benefit, Dr. Engstad would prefer to skip
radiation as this would create more irregular surfaces in the area to be excised.
My main fear is that these surgical procedures become a game
of whack-a-mole. The thought I had 16 years between bouts of cancer makes me
optimistic I can have another good run.
Many people have acknowledged the difficulty of this period
for me and my family. I am so very grateful to receive words of support and empathy.
I am comforted that I am part of a web of significant relationships that have
defined and enhanced my life. I hope that by posting the details of my cancer
treatment here I can skip recounting them in conversation. I don’t know if I
will live a long or short time, but either way I prefer to minimize the black
thoughts and try and find a positive headspace. So much is unknowable.
I will have a telemedicine consultation with the radiation
oncologist later today. As always, I will post all information here.